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Notes on a Scandal: Part X February 11, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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Hey what’s up? im bored. my belly hurts. my feet are clean lol. ill change my socks lol. Yeah me and Phil were talking about taco bell yesterday. I doubt my dad will take me over to your house. I don’t think he’s even going to be home. but my handwritting is shitty today. Uh I need a cigarette. yeah I never get in trouble for sleeping in here im bout to do it in a minute. lol. bitch yelled at me lol. w/b

Waiting for You on Needles and Pins February 10, 2008

Posted by Kevin in Tube-Tacular.
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Bobby makes any day a good day (even when he has to deal with a cumbersome microphone cord).

Notes on a Scandal: Part IX February 6, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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Hey. so, you are not allowed to leave again.  it was very sad for me.  haha.  traumatizing.  yeah, ben can go suck on a cock, choke and die.  he better not try talking to you, I’ll be like BAM.  yeah, its cause i love you.  she got her ass kicked. she deserved all of it too.  yeah, anyhoot.  if you want to stay single, go ahead.  you really don’t need one seriously, i never expected to see you cry over a guy.  no no no.  not my girl.  but I still love you very much.  anyways.  i had a scary gynaecologist appointment two days ago.  grr grr grr.  damn.  this is so sloppy.  oh well.  yeah.  mm yeah, time to go.

I Had a Dream, a Dream About You, Baby, etc. February 1, 2008

Posted by Kevin in Tube-Tacular.
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Eh, I probably would have fallen asleep too.

Notes on a Scandal: Part VIII January 28, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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I told Chris that Tiff wanted his balls it was so funny and then she agreed

Omg an she agreed I asked Chris out 4 her

No she wants Chris now

Deconstructing Harry (1997) January 23, 2008

Posted by Kevin in Movie of the Week.
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A direct film reference to Bergman’s “Wild Strawberries” (1957). Woody Allen plays a writer suffering from writer’s block. In fact, his character’s last name is Block. He has also just released a book that contains the personal details of those closest to him. The backlash is unpleasant for him, but amazingly hysterical for us. The people in his own life are shown and so are the characters he develops, who come alive and tell their stories to us. The cast includes Kristie Alley, Billy Crystal, Judy Davis, Demi Moore, Stanley Tucci, and Robin Williams.

Notes on a Scandal: Part VII January 21, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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Hilly,

Yea I’m getting pretty sick of all this drama crap… it’s just bull shit, and I’m pretty sure that my mom is going to let me go because his dad is driving and his dad will be there but Robbie said that his dad + step mom normaly go out but mom just wont know that part lol, but his grandparents will still be there lol, but I still have 2 make mom think that his dad will be there cuz she’s met him, but she doesn’t know Robbie’s grandparents so she wouldn’t be 2 happy w/ the hole thing lol but I’m SO excited, haha

love always,
Kitty

Crimes and Misdemeanors January 16, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News, The Reel Deal.
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Numerous references to Woody Allen films in this parody of a joke from “Juno.”

“Woody, he is so wise.”

Notes on a Scandal: Part VI January 15, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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is it tru that the bible says that if you are pregant you can be stoned to death?

y?

just wonderin

Sunset Boulevard (1950) January 9, 2008

Posted by Kevin in Movie of the Week.
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Joe Gillis: You’re Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big.
Norma Desmond: I am big. It’s the pictures that got small.

“Sunset Boulevard” is about the repercussions of fame. And it’s a theme that directer Billy Wilder visits often (another notable instance is his “Ace in the Hole” starring Kirk Douglas). Aging silent film actress Norma Desmond is living a secluded life reveling in her days of glory. What happens when she crosses paths with a troubled screenwriter? A film that employs a dead chimp, an ex-husband butler, the promise of a film deal, and narration by a dead guy. Starring Gloria Swanson, William Holden, and Erich von Stroheim.

Nice Work If You Can Get It January 7, 2008

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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Kids who aren’t the brightest
Have one silly thing they share.
They all seem to have girlfriends
And this fact I cannot bear.

Before school starts I patrol the hallways
Or watch from outside my door
And there are two young-ones making out,
Who could ask for anything more?

They grope and prod
And practice mastering PDA
“You shouldn’t do that,” and
“No means no,” is all that I can say.

My warnings mean nothing,
To them they will not heed.
Love may be blind,
But who knew it couldn’t read.

Untrace Me, My Sweet Untraceable You January 5, 2008

Posted by Kevin in The Reel Deal, Tube-Tacular.
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A cyber killer has finally found the perfect accomplice. You.

“He hacked into my car’s computer!”

2007 Shot By Shot December 31, 2007

Posted by Kevin in The Reel Deal.
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I’m excited. This year I feel that my list of the best of films is complete. I’ve seen most of the films that have become major “contenders” for awards, but still I have yet to see: Charlie Wilson’s War, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, I’m Not There, and There Will Be Blood.

And now, my picks for the best of 2007!

1. Once – “Once” is about love. Specifically unrequited love, but that’s of no importance. It’s honest and innocent and simple, and refreshing because of those qualities. Writer/director John Carney uses two completely unknown actors and makes them give the performances of their lives. The plot in a sentence is: Two lonely musicians meet in Ireland and record music during one eventful week. It’s a musical, but not in the traditional sense. It’s a musical because it’s about music and uses music to tell a story. Even though Guy and Girl only know each other for a brief time, their interactions together are life-changing. And like a good film should, we feel a bit changed as well. See it, see it, see it.

2. No Country for Old Men – The Coen brothers write and direct an adaptation of a novel by Cormac McCarthy. This is a story about pure evil and how people react when they are faced with it (or rather him). The “him” is Javier Bardem and he is scaringly convincing. Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, and Woody Harrelson round out the cast. More terrifying than just about any “horror” movie that comes to mind.

3. Juno – Witty, classy, and very smart. Sounds like I’m describing myself, but no, I’m talking about “Juno.” Ellen Page is so convincing as our 16 year-old pregnant hero. Its theme of “kids with adult issues and adults with ‘kid’ issues” is more a reality than some might think. Every character is fully formed no matter their screen time. It’s unconventional, funny, and sweet.

4. Atonement – Joe Wright’s second feature is even better than 2005’s “Pride and Prejudice.” There is a lot of like here in “Atonement.” Keira Knightley is perfect, as is Wright’s ability to weave multiple points of view into one story. More than anything “Atonement” is about lies and the fine line between a writer’s life and her fiction. Plays out much differently than the trailers would have you believe and having never read the novel, I didn’t see that ending coming.

5. Michael Clayton - A slick, original thriller written and directed by Tony Gilroy. George Clooney is at his best playing the title role, a lawyer for a huge law firm. Gilroy’s story is nonlinear, but shows us depth of situation and character. Also starring Tom Wilkinson and the wonderful Tilda Swinton.

6. Away from Her – I heard this joke once in middle school, “What’s that disease called? The one where you get old and can’t remember anything? I’ve forgotten.” What this young comic was getting at is Alzheimer’s disease, and as this film proves, it’s no laughing matter. Julie Christie is receiving much praise for her performance as an Alzheimer’s patient, but I think the real star here is Gordon Pinsent as a shattered husband who deals with the ‘loss’ of his wife and her affections.

7. The Kite Runner – “The Kite Runner” is about the depth of friendship and the power of redemption. Although it is not nearly as good as Khaled Hosseini’s novel, it captures a culture that Americans typically write-off. Despite what my students might tell you, not everyone from Afghanistan is a terrorist. Marc Foster continues to deliver very varied, yet quality cinema.

8. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street – This is a nearly perfect adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s amazing musical. Tim Burton completely understands the purposes of Sondheim’s music. This musical film gets it right: the voices don’t have to be big, the actors are on film, not in a thousand seat theatre. They don’t have to sing to the third balcony, they just have to sing to me. This provides an intimacy that is rare in film. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter should make pies together more often. And best of all, memories of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” were completely washed away.

9. La Vie en Rose – I was first introduced to Edith Piaf’s music by my French professor in college. Her stories of Piaf’s life always seemed so colorful, yet sad and this movie really captures those qualities. Marion Cotillard gives the performance of the year as she transforms herself into France’s “Little Sparrow.”

10. Eastern Promises – David Cronenberg directs a film about crime and its consequences. When a midwife tries to help a newborn child she crosses paths with the Russian mafia, a situation that is even less appealing than it sounds. Naomi Watts is solid and Cronenberg’s new muse seems to be Viggo Mortensen. Good for him and good for us.

I also enjoyed: 3:10 to Yuma, American Gangster, Bug, Paris, Je T’aime, Rescue Dawn, Superbad, and Zodiac.

Watch a movie, it’ll do you good. See you in 2008!

Come Letter Adore Him December 24, 2007

Posted by Kevin in No News is Good News.
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Dear Mr. Claus,

May I start off by saying I saw you on CNN the other day and man do you look good! What’s your secret? Slim Fast? Jenny Craig? Pilates? No wonder you need those suspenders! And Mrs. Claus, wow, babelicious!

Anyway, I need your help this year. You must think this is silly. After all, I’m a grown man and I stopped believing in you about fifteen years ago. I know our past relations haven’t been the greatest, but I think all of that is behind us now. (That rocking-horse you gave me was clearly inferior project. You have to admit that. I guess I could have responded in a nicer manner than contacting the Better Business Bureau, but what did you expect? I was five and I apologize for my immaturity. You have a BIG heart and I know if you dig deep down you can forgive me. You are a saint, or so I’ve heard.)

What I want this year is a little Christmas spirit. Has anyone ever asked for that before? Maybe someone has, but no one deserves some more than me. This year I’m just not feeling the season’s happiness. Even my students have noticed and started to call me “Scrooge” or “The Grinch” and to them I say, with resounding joy, “Humbug!”

I’ve never roasted chestnuts on an open fire, kissed someone under mistletoe, or made the Yule-tide gay. Does this make me a bad person? I should hope not. But even so, an extra-large dollop of spirit would do me good, wouldn’t you say?

I’m not sure how you deliver spirit (Storks? UPS? Have your elves call my elves?), but please rush it ASAP! Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated!

Sincerely,

Kevin

P.S. Can you see me when I’m sleeping? Do you know when I’m awake? I don’t mean to offend, but that scares the shit out of me.

Nuns Having Fun December 23, 2007

Posted by Kevin in Tube-Tacular.
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No explanation or banter needed.