We Need the Eggs

I recently built a bookcase.

Let’s dissect this sentence, shall we?

I - this one is obvious, we’re talking about me.

recently - again, easy and obvious, an event in the recent past: last Tuesday.

built - ah, here is where the problem lies. Built is a verb and means to form by combining materials or parts; construct. This means that I made something. Me. Made. Formed. With materials and parts. Me. Built.

a bookcase – a case in which books reside.

I’m puzzled by this sentence. From reading it one would gather that I am a capable and competent handyman which couldn’t be further from the truth. I needed to do a little grammatical digging.

Diagramming the sentence was not helpful and took several hours:

In addition to not understanding this sentence or its diagram, I think I accidentally invented an isotope.

Saying “I recently built a bookcase” garners a certain sort of recognition. “Oh, you must be so good with your hands,” one might respond if I told them of my latest project. Or, “Heavens! A bookcase? Are you mad? How dangerous and thrilling!”

I guarantee I would not receive this kind of glowing admiration if I told the truth. A sentence closer to the truth would be: “I recently bought a kit in a cardboard box that had a bunch of pieces that I assembled into a bookcase, for my books.” Or “I recently built a bookcase and it only took me three tries and four hours to put it together.” I realize that might seem like a long time, but the directions that came in the box were miles above my reading level: insert A into B while screwing C to E and F and hum “Midnight Train to Georgia” while stapling D to your left thigh. And presto I was left with this –

An array of wood as jumbled as my isotope sentence. It doesn’t look pretty, but my books are happy and so am I.