We Need the Eggs

Only once in a great while does an offer like this come along.  Imagine a CD collection that housed the songs you have spent your entire life trying to find.  Imagine every song you cherished from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and today in one collection.  Ballads, duets, and up-tempo hits by the very best artists in an 8-CD, 132-song collection. 

Sound too good to be true?  Well, it’s your lucky day, my friend.

Time Life Music, in association with Direct Holdings Americas Inc., proudly present “Songs about Sean.”  Finally, a collection of all the songs ever written about Sean O’Brien. 

These songs are the original unreleased version of your favorite hit songs.  Before Sean O’Brien’s birth record labels often forced artists to change the word “Sean” to “you” or “baby” in the lyrics.  Executives were often afraid that this prediction of the coming of St. O’Brien would scare the Catholic Church.  But, since researchers now know that Catholics cannot listen to music or use the internet we can bring this once in a lifetime offer to you.

In “Songs about Sean” you’ll get hits like: 

Ella Fitzgerald’s “They Can’t Take That Away from Me”

The way Sean wears his hat
The way Sean sips his tea
The memory of all that
No they can’t take that away from me

Remember ABBA’s “Dancing Queen?”  Here was the real version:

Sean is the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine (Oh yeah…)
Sean can dance, Sean can jive, having the time of his life
See that Sean, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”

Every little thing Sean does is magic
Everything he does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for Sean goes on

Even The Beatles got in on the Sean O’Brien action with “All You Need is Love”

All you need is Sean
All you need is Sean
All you need is Sean, Sean
Sean is all you need 

And today, artists are still singing about Sean.  Take, for example, John Mayer’s “Wonderland”

Sean’s body is a wonderland
Sean’s body is a wonder (I’ll use my hands)
Sean’s body is a wonderland

AND MANY MORE!

You can receive all these songs and more for only 4 easy payments of $19.95 + S&H.

BUT WAIT!  There’s more.  Act within the next five minutes and you’ll receive “Sean South of the Border,” a delightful collection of Spanish-Catholic hits sung by illegal aliens. 

You get the 8-CD “Songs about Sean” plus “Sean South of the Border” for only 4 easy payments of $19.95 + S&H.  Wow!

Who knows how long before this offer implodes in on itself:  Don’t delay, call now.